January 8, 2019 admin Become An Instantly Better Listener Uncategorized 1) Passionate People Use A Lot Of Absolutes. Words such as these can drive you crazy if you listen to them literally. They can derail a conversion very quickly. Do not hear absolutes verbatim. If you do, you will wind up debating facts rather than communicating. Do not use them if you can help it. 2) Give Your Undivided Attention. Stop what you are doing when someone is speaking to you. If you’re watching tv, turn it off out of respect for the individual who is talking. This is a excellent way to show value to someone. Do it for kids, your spouse, your friends and your parents. This gives a message that they are more important than what you’re watching or doing. Can it without sighing or making an aggravated expression. 3) Look At The Person Who’s Talking. It tells the person who’s talking that you are listening and are engaged in the conversion. Eye contact shows that you are interested in what the individual has to say. Lean slightly forward to further convey interest. Uncross your arms to demonstrate openness to what they must say as opposed to arms crossed that will be read as defensiveness. 5) Remember You Have Two Ears and One Mouth. Listening is an art form. A good listener is a rare individual. A two ears and one mouth strategy helps you keep listening on your mind as a priority. It’s much better to be a good listener than to be a good speaker. Shy people may disagree it is the truth. 6) You Don’t Have To Make Your Stage Right Now. Do not steal the dialogue by jumping in too fast to create your own point. Be patient. Just listen. You will get your turn. You will have more information. You will have better understanding also. If you are angry, it could be a better idea to wait to make your point. 7) Do Not Retaliate. If the person says something you don’t like that you do not have to react. A smart person does not retaliate. They listen. Things said in angry, hurt or frustration can occasionally lead to permanent damage to the relationship between you and the other individual. 8) Girls Are Upset For The Reason You Think. This one is for the guys. Women don’t do it intentionally but they talk in a coded message. Everything you hear and what they say are often two different things. It is best to start off from this understanding and then set out to crack the code. Men tend to hear that something has to be fixed, what they do is never good enough, griping, nagging or complaining. He basically hears that he’s doing a bad job and he gets a zero for his effort. He believes”a zero” is absurd and unappreciative. He in turn stops listening. It is important that a man does not hold this common but false conclusion. This is why teenage sons can not hear their moms and I will always have a job for a marriage therapist.